A memorial donation is a charitable gift made in memory of someone who has died, usually directed to a cause that person cared about. What families get wrong is rarely the amount. It is the purpose. Gifts arrive with no stated use, no fund behind them, and no way for anyone to see, a year later, what the money actually did.
That happens for an understandable reason. “Where can we send donations?” gets asked in the same week as the obituary, the service, the phone calls and a hundred other decisions. Nobody is at their most deliberate. The point of this page is to make that one decision quickly and get it right.
What counts as a memorial donation
Any charitable gift dedicated to someone who has died is a memorial donation. It might be $25 added to a fund that already exists, or a named scholarship that outlasts everyone who set it up. The dedication is the only thing they all share.
Two phrases get used interchangeably and should not be. A gift in memory of someone is made after they have died. A gift in honor of someone is made while they are living, for a birthday, a retirement, a recovery or a thank-you. The mechanics are the same; only the wording of the dedication changes. Older fundraising copy groups both under the heading tribute gift. If the person you want to recognize is still here, the guide to honorariums and gifts made in honor of someone covers that side of it.
Behind the wording sit three different things:
- A memorial gift is one donation, made once, in someone’s name.
- A memorial fund is a charitable account that holds contributions for a defined purpose and can keep receiving them for years.
- A memorial scholarship is a fund that pays out to students against written eligibility rules and a formal selection process.
Most families need the first. Some need the second. The mistakes below happen when nobody stops long enough to ask which.
Five things people get wrong about memorial donations
None of these come from carelessness. They come from generosity moving faster than clarity.
- Picking the biggest name instead of the closest connection. A national charity may be exactly right when its work mattered to the person. Recognition on its own is not a reason. Ask what they actually spent their time on.
- Assuming the gift will be used for something specific without saying so. A donation given with no instruction is unrestricted, and the organization may spend it wherever the need is greatest. That is often fine. When it is not, the restriction has to be agreed and written down before contributions start arriving. The National Council of Nonprofits advises donors to ask whether an organization has a gift acceptance policy and to put any restriction in writing.
- Publishing the donation line before deciding what it means. “In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to…” is the most closely followed sentence in an obituary. Once it is printed, it is where the money goes. Ten minutes on the phone with the recipient before that notice is filed prevents most of the regret that surfaces later.
- Judging the recipient on overhead alone. Administration is what turns a stack of checks into a scholarship that reaches a student: receipts, acknowledgments, recordkeeping, tracking the restriction, making the distribution. A low overhead ratio does not by itself show that an organization is good at any of it. The better question is whether it can explain, in plain words, how your gift will be handled and who will benefit.
- Sending money to a person rather than to a qualified organization. A gift earmarked for a named individual is not a deductible charitable contribution, however sympathetic the situation. The IRS Tax Exempt Organization Search settles in a few seconds whether an organization can receive deductible gifts.
How to donate in memory of someone
The order matters more than the amount.
- Start with the person, not the charity. What did they give their time to? Which school, church, team, program or building was part of their week? What would make everyone at the service say, that sounds like them?
- Decide whether the gift should do something now or keep doing something. A single gift answers a present need. A fund answers a longer question: what should continue because this person was here?
- Ask the recipient what it can actually do. Can it accept the restriction you have in mind? Will it tell the family who gave? Will it report back on what the money did? Not every organization can do all three, and it is easier to ask now than to unpick later.
- Write the instruction down before it is published. Name the organization exactly, name the fund if there is one, and say where checks should be sent. Then hand that wording to the funeral home, the newspaper and whoever is managing the online notice.
- Keep the paperwork. The IRS requires a written acknowledgment from the charity for any single contribution of $250 or more if you want to substantiate a deduction, and only gifts to qualified organizations are deductible at all. Tax rules change and depend on your own circumstances, so check with your tax advisor rather than with an obituary page.
When a memorial donation should become a memorial fund
Most memorial gifts should stay simple. A fund earns its administration when several people intend to give, when the purpose needs to survive the first year, or when a family wants the person’s name attached to something specific. Here is how the options compare at the Miami County Community Foundation.
| Option | How it works | Best when |
|---|---|---|
| A one-time gift | One donation to an organization or an existing fund, dedicated to the person | The cause is already clear and no ongoing structure is needed |
| Adding to an existing memorial fund | Contributions of any size go into a fund someone else has already established | A fund already does the work the person would have chosen |
| An expendable fund | Opens from $1,000; every dollar can be spent, and the fund closes once it is | The family wants flexible giving over a few years rather than forever |
| An endowed fund | Opens from $10,000; the balance stays invested and cannot fall below what was put in | The family wants the name attached to something that keeps paying out |
| A named scholarship | A fund with written eligibility rules, awarded through a school | Education, a trade or a particular school was central to the person’s life |
Memorial funds at the Miami County Community Foundation
Many of the funds held at the Miami County Community Foundation began after someone died. Four of them are set out below, with the name each one carries.
Shifting Gears is In Memory of Regan Johnson, and it does two things. It awards a $500 scholarship to Paola High School seniors affected by suicide or mental illness, their own or a family member’s. It also funds suicide-prevention training directly for public and private schools, with no county limit on which schools can ask.
Stomp Out Suicide was added in 2026 in memory of Joshua McQuay. It awards $500 to a graduating Osawatomie High School senior, and as a grant program it pays for suicide-prevention work in public schools across Miami and Linn counties: speakers, teacher training, and counseling for individual students.
The D.O. Smith Memorial Scholarship is $3,000, open to permanent Miami County residents who hold CNA certification and/or have been accepted into a nursing program. The Steve Pepoon Memorial Scholarship is $1,000 for a Paola High School senior heading into writing, screenwriting, playwriting, film, television, media arts or theater. Pepoon was an Emmy-winning television writer and a Paola native.
Almost every scholarship held here is applied for through the student’s own high-school counselor, and no application forms sit on the Foundation’s website. Deadlines are set school by school, generally between January and March, with selection in April. The rest of the funds are listed on the Foundation’s funds page.
Two routes carry money to any of them. The Donate Now button opens a drop-down of the funds that accept card and PayPal payments. Or send a check made payable to Miami County Community Foundation, not to the fund, with the fund name written in the memo line, to 702 Baptiste Dr, Paola, KS 66071.
Starting a new fund takes seven to ten business days once the agreement is settled. An expendable fund opens at $1,000 and can be spent to zero. An endowed fund opens at $10,000, the balance stays permanently invested, and the spending policy is 5%, which makes roughly $500 available from a $10,000 fund for the purpose it was created for. The Foundation’s fee is 2%: 1% administrative and 1% community support, the portion that pays for the Foundation to operate. If the fund is meant to send a student to college, the page on starting a scholarship fund sets out how eligibility and awards get written.
Before the donation line goes into the obituary
You do not need to know the difference between an expendable fund and an endowment before you call anyone. You need to know who the person was and what you would like to keep happening because of them. Someone at the Foundation can tell you whether a fund already exists that fits, and what starting one would involve.
If you are still deciding, the ways to give page lists memorials and honor gifts alongside the other routes, and the contact page carries the phone number and the mailing address. A short conversation before the wording is published is worth more than a larger gift after it.
